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"May I do the dishes?" asks your Virgo.
"Oh no, that's fine," you say.
"No, really, let me," Virgo smiles. You hardly notice as he deftly swipes a crumb from your shoulder.
"No, I can do it," you smile, reaching for a dish.
"Oh, no no," he says again, delicately hip-checking you in order to take the plate from your hand.
"No, please--" you start, reaching again for a dish, but--wait, was that his elbow in your ribs? Had to be an accident, you think, and yet, as you reach again and are immediately half-nelsoned, flipped and sent reeling into the corner of your own kitchen, he pops open the garbage with one foot, slips on a pair of work gloves, tosses in your sponge, produces a new one from his pocket, and begins to vigorously wash every item in your sink including the sink itself, the counter top, the burners, and--"as long as we're at it," the inside and outside of the fridge, the floor, the walls and the ceiling.
Virgo is the neat, efficient sign of the zodiac. Some prefer to call it by a popular, three-letter acronym. Expect cleanliness. Excessive cleanliness. As in, when you come out of the bathroom, you will find your sweaters catalogued by color, brand and synthetic content ("I took the liberty of getting rid of anything unnecessary," he might say as you notice that half of your vintage clothing collection is missing). When you want something fixed, organized or cleaned, just ask a Virgo. Or don't: he'll likely notice before you do. When he starts dry cleaning your mattress, just nod and say thanks. It's free maid service and might even get you laid.
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