Boo! It's your date: Get off...line
Joy in numbers. Just because someone isn't dateworthy doesn't mean they aren't good for other purposes. Don't be so quick to delete the overflow in your dating in-box. Some of those responses just might be good for something. You know, a little something. We see no problem with categorizing which ones you want for sex and which for relationships, but everybody has to know where they stand. Just as in offline relationships, the "rules" for sex are the same: You never have to unless you want to. And if you want to, you should! We don't believe that "good girls don't."
Hello, harem! Offline, your dating pool is limited by how many people you can meet in person per night. Even if there were a line of strangers waiting to buy you drinks at the bar, you couldn't talk to more than a few in one evening. Online, between chat and e-mail, you could find yourself with a harem of potential lovers all at once. Three! Six! Nine! No sign of stopping! Congratulations, you've become the kid in the candy store (remember those jellybeans?). You could gorge yourself with everything on the shelves, but you'd probably wake up with a bad stomachache the next day. Sample away--but know your limit.
Friends vs Lovers. Not everything has to end in sex or a relationship. You can find a match that contains both or neither. You never know whom you're going to meet. Keep your mind open to potential friends, business associates, lunch partners, even tour guides in other cities. And hey, they might know somebody sexy and fabulous, too.
How to Swing Many Dates at Once
As with everything, it takes practice. So as soon as your day planner starts filling up, experiment! Just because you have five nights in a week doesn't mean you can only have five dates.
Keep time. Tempted to stay beyond your 2-4pm slot with your date? Keeping to your schedule will keep you from getting carried away by first impressions. Consider it a first taste. You'll get a chance to digest the experience and plan your next move, all at a more natural pace.
State your motives early. Getting things out in the open, no matter how much it makes you blush now, will help to avoid confusion and hurt feelings later. If you're seeing sixteen people, you don't have to say that, but you should mention your "other engagements." If you don't tell anyone there are other contenders, they won't know. If you meet once for lunch and then give a polite kiss-off, it may not matter. But if you start meeting every Thursday at eight, you should mention it if you're seeing someone else every Thursday at six and ten.
TMI (too much information). "So I'm sleeping with Tom on Wednesday; I hope you don't mind..." There's a difference between honesty and being a blabbering fool. You don't have to specify every move you make as long as you've established whether you have an open or a monogamous relationship.
Keep people updated. Emotions change. If you change your mind, say so. A one-time let-down is better than prolonged uncertainty.
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