Hawking your goods: Profile builders
Make your online profile stand out among thousands!
I enjoy candlelit dinners, walks on the beach, holding hands and cuddling. I'm as comfortable in formal wear as in jeans and sneakers. The perfect first date: dinner where we get lost in conversation and end the night with a kiss. Sparks fly and we can't wait to see each other again. My perfect mate has a great sense of humor, is easygoing and fun to be around.
What's wrong with this profile? Nothing...except that it could be anybody. Make it sound like you, and be specific.
Instead of "candlelit dinners," how about "I love making my own sushi" or "I love discovering restaurants that are off the beaten track"? Rather than "walks on the beach," "Ask me about the wave I caught at Maui a few years back!" All of these are specific, personal, and encourage conversation.
Love hockey and know everything about it? Talk about that! Even if someone reading your profile isn't into hockey, she or he will get a great picture of how you communicate--and what you care about.
If you contact someone with the line, "Check out my profile and tell me what you think," ask yourself: is there something there to think about?
Consider: If they're wading through 100 profiles, why would they spend the money to respond to the one that says the least?
Would you respond to the profile you wrote?
What about it stands out? Do you want to expand on those parts?
Top 6 profile-building basics
Your profile is your online face. Look your best: put effort into what you say. Here's how:
Be honest. Aren't you seeking someone who is?
Be descriptive--of who you are and what you want. Weight can change, hair can be cut or dyed, but what's on the inside is what will make or break a relationship.
Decide: How far is too far? Determine your geographical boundaries based on what you're looking for--a casual date, a life partner, or maybe just a playmate--and consider how close you'd like each one to be.
Picture, picture, picture. We're not shallow, but let's face it: romance is about attraction. Be sure to use a recent, clear photo--it wouldn't be fair for Elvis to post his "pelvis" pics during his fried banana and peanut butter days. Even Elvis wouldn't want to show up only to have his date not recognize him.
Spread it around. Have a friend read your profile and give their (un)biased opinion.
Keep it fresh. Edit your profile often. If you've finally gotten that long-awaited eel taming certification and are now planning to pursue "the art" full time, people should know about it.
It takes time to get your profile to the point where you attract the right kind of people (and as many as) you want. Don't expect to hit your target overnight; keep tweaking until you get the responses you want.
Bonus: Each time you tweak, you get popped to the top of the pile, making your profile more visible.
Profile No-Nos
Age, rank, serial number. Revealing only the barest facts about yourself will probably attract the barest minimum of dates. If you don't put effort into your profile, why should anyone put effort into responding to it?
One-word responses. Excepting rare cases of genius, excessive simplicity suggests...excessive simplicity. In this case, less is not more.
Being too clever. Question asks: What's your favorite book?
Profile response: "Insert pseudo-intellectual tome here."
Are you saying that because you have too many choices or because you have none? No one knows but you. Thumbing your nose at the questions implies thumbing your nose at those of us who didn't thumb. So quit thumbing, and embrace your online dating status--or come back when you're ready to do so.
Rambling on. There is never a need for "um," "whatever," or "well, yeah, sortaÉ" Online, you always have the benefit of the "delete" key. Use it wisely.
Forgetting to talk about yourself. This may seem obvious, but we've seen it too many times. "I'm a regular guy who's looking for a healthy committed relationship with a bright sexy smart woman." Sounds great! Now who are you? What is a "regular guy"? If you only list what you want us to be and don't say anything about you, how can we tell if we want to be with you?
Talking about someone else. It may be obvious (we hope) not to go on about your ex or your mother. But how about your adorable little cousin, the "light of your life"? That is equally inappropriate. You're using valuable profile space and testing your reader's attention span.
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